is 20 too early for a quarter life crisis?

I'm a big fan of sitting in just my towel after my showers for an unnecessarily long time.

This is where I do some of my best thinking, not in the shower, but immediately afterwards cocooned in a towel sitting on my bed. Today this post-shower time has got me thinking about the future, specifically after graduation. You see, I just finished my sophomore year of college and my entire junior year will be spent abroad so it feels like I have to figure out my plans for senior year now. What will be my honors project? Should I be applying for teaching jobs, or graduate schools, or something entirely different? Will I stay in Ohio or will I end up somewhere else. The fact of the matter is that when I graduate I will be 22 years old and that is far too young to settle down in my opinion. I don't want to be stuck in a suburban school district for the entirety of my twenties, but teaching is what my degree is for, it's what I've always thought I wanted to do.

It's not that I don't enjoy teaching, don't get me wrong, but I'm starting to think that there are other ways that I could inspire others to learn languages and appreciate culture than being a public school french teacher. I want to do so much. I want to see so much, and I know that I don't have to have everything figured out right now but it's hard to feel like I'm studying something that might not even be my job. Teaching is a safe choice, a good and important choice. Teaching is a profession that should be highly respected and provides gratifying and life-changing work. But I can't help feeling sometimes like it's not for me. I know I could be a great teacher, I'm teaching now and it's an amazing job, but I'm not sure I can spend all day in my twenties in a classroom in some neighborhood in Ohio.

It makes me think about this assignment I did for one of my education classes. It was a course on differentiated instruction, and we were researching Expeditionary Learning schools, which are schools with a focus on experience-based learning through trips and multiple content area integrated units. They're a really amazing style of education and if you get the chance I suggest you look into them. The one I was researching was in Colorado, and in my write-up for it I said that I would consider applying to this specific school senior year because it seemed like a very diverse and interesting environment. My professor left a comment on my paper saying "but would you really leave Ohio, seems like this is kind of far for you" and I remember feeling so offended. There's nothing wrong with Ohio, I love this state, but the fact that my professor seemed to think I was either incapable or unwilling to ever leave shook my confidence. I've never thought about where I would live after college, but I always assumed I'd end up out of state somehow, and for someone to suggest that I was not the type of person to pull it off really battered my concept of self.

There are just so many paths to consider. There are a million different ways my life could go, and it's hard to find a balance between over thinking the future and not planning ahead enough. I'm hoping that this year abroad shows me what I want, that I become more in tune with myself and where I see myself in the next couple years. I'm hoping to gain confidence in myself outside of the context of a relationship or the roles I play in my life at home. Welcome to Katelyn without borders, population of one.